Hoiya revolutionaries; as you may or may not want to know, I am a great supporter of general nudity. I’m not a nudist as such; resembling an extinct triassic quadraped I feel obliged to publicly cover my hamburger infused shame, but am happy to swan about in the buff in the privacy of my own home. In fact, aside from my ever present hat, I’m nude as I type this. What’s that? Why yes, I do live a rather soliatary existence, but friends & family have learned to telephone before popping over. Learned…the hard way.
Which leads me to clothes. Well let’s face it, something should. Clothes, especially in winter, are essential when one is not living in the tropics. As a service to the Cocktail Revolution community and nothing whatsoever to do with a court order, here are a few salient reasons to adorn yourselves in various fabrics and skins….
You won’t get arrested.
You won’t have a judge refer to you as a “menace to decent society”.
You’ll have somewhere else to put your pen, phone, keys, tablet etc.
Falling over whilst rollerskating will be not nearly as traumatic for nearby skaters.
Security will take longer to usher you out of official events.
People may assist you if you’re lost.
Accessorising is simpler, even with greater options.
You’ll save a fortune on… <ahem>…personal grooming.
People will applaud your cartwheeling.
You can wear a bespoke advertising cape.
You can wear a lapel pin, badge or medal.
Sure, the need to get around in the nicky-noo can be overwhelming, but you’ll thank me later if you decide to take heed of this advice and drape your bod in the final product of many a skilled weaver.
Ooh there’s someone at the door. Hello! Why yes, I’d be very interested in saving money on my gas and electricity bills. Come on inside….
Clothes, Revolutionaries: put them on.
The Matt Hatter